Selfish Shellfish? Selfless Walrus?

Aloha my pretzels,

I hope you read this in the pink of health. ^_^

Okay before I start today's topic let's clear out a few things, okay?

Firstly, my sincere apologies for being off grid for months. I don't have writing as my career. Been busy with work and honestly, I was lacking inspiration.

Secondly, a few of you have asked me why I refer to your guys as food at the start of every post. Well, I love food (people who know me know it shows ^_~ ) and I have a major sweet tooth. I think I need sugar to function normally, so you see why I address you as my sweetlings. Teehee.

Lastly, many of you ALSO asked me why I write about love/feelings/emotions. Well, I feel like writing about it and sharing my views. Simple as that. You are most welcome to close this window and read something else you know! I'm not complaining. :P

So now that all that stuff has been sorted, it's time to talk about today's topic - Selfish Shellfish? Selfless Walrus?

Chill people, I promise we are not going to talk about fishes and stuff! -_-

That'd be weird... o_O

So the idea of this post came up a few weeks back. A friend of mine called me up one evening and we were generally talking. So this guy adds my pretty little cousin as his friend on Facebook (For the love of God, I still don't understand why! And they seem to be liking each other's statuses and posts & you get it.. -_- Read: NOT COOL).

Now during our call, my friend casually asks me, "So say you like me and say I hit it off with your cousin, what would you do?". And although, the very idea of him eyeing my sister pisses me off, I did think of that hypothetical situation and I told him "Well, you have my blessings! You can do what you want with her. In fact, I'll support the two of you in case anyone objects".

And he goes "OMG! You'd simply accept it? You won't fight for me? Nothing mean? You won't hatch an evil plan?"
And I went "Why should I fight for something that doesn't belong to me? AND, this is NOT Gossip Girl for God's sake. Who the f**k actually plots evil stuff in real life?"

Now, boys and girls, think. Would you go into your mean mode and try to get someone you know has no feelings for you? Or would you just let it be and move on?

I guess sometimes in life you just have to be a bigger person and let go. And I wouldn't expect you understand the gravity of what I mean. Maybe, we all have to go through it once to understand it. I remember a few years back our family wasn't in a great condition and my dad had to do something he wasn't particularly glad about. When I called him and asked him why he did what he did, he was quite for a long time and finally said, "I know I'll find my happiness in yours. I hope you never have to go through it."

That's when it hit me. That's when my idea of 'Selfless Love' basically took birth. To absolutely let go of everything that means to you for someone you truly love & care about.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A week back, we had a small get together at home. It was initially intended for 5 people - Me & 4 errr.. senior citizens and the agenda was simple - having dinner and watching weird Hindi soap operas.

But, I think the Almighty loves adding drama in my life, so in a weird twist of fate, when I dressed up and came out of my room, I was greeted by a gorgeous woman and I have seen this woman millions of times ONLY in family photographs. I had never seen her in real life until that day. My brain went in override mode because she was none other than the wife of my first love. (NO the guy never liked me back. No, he didn't know that I had feelings for him and NO, I am not in love with that man any more. I assure you guys..)

Following behind her... HIM. And instantly I thought to myself - Someone up there must really hate me. -_-

Not only did I feel like some tattered farmer's daughter in front of the gorgeous couple, I didn't even look presentable! I had tied my hair in a tight bun and I had oil in hair! FML. 

It was supposed to be a night with senior citizens. C'mon, I hadn't dolled up. Not that I wanted to look drop dead gorgeous around him, no, nothing of that sort. Just presentable.

(I did manage as much as I could to stay away from them and be restricted to the kitchen. So yay!)

Now I have this weird habit of observing the way a man looks at his girl. I don't know why I do it but somewhere down the line, I think I can judge how much the guy likes his girl. I know it sounds silly but bear with me. So, during dinner this guy passes on juice to her and he kept looking at her with a small smile on his face. And I wasn't jealous or anything. I always thought I would be when I see them together.

He was happy and I was happy about that. EVEN if I was in love with him, I'm pretty sure, I would still be happy for him. I wouldn't go all bitchy mode and try to claim him for myself. NEVER.

As my father said, "I know I'll find my happiness in yours".

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Now by being selfless I don't mean you go all 'I love you. I will be your slave for the rest of my life and you can treat me like sh*t and I won't say a word because that's what the world's greatest lovers do' and all that bullsh*t.

NO. -_-

I don't encourage martyrdom and I certainly don't abet in emotional suicide. -_-

Friendzone has become too mainstream for you to take the 'selfless' risk.

I know a few friends who go out of the way for a girl/guy, only to get rejected and Lord have mercy on them, they still go out of their way to keep the other party happy. Seriously, WTF? o_O

Selflessness doesn't mean you lose your self respect.

I know this one guy who ALWAYS gets friendzoned. I don't understand him. He gets TOO friendly with a girl TOO soon and then disaster strikes.

I recently hooked him up with a girl I know form office and they went out on their first date to a picturesque place outside of city. I was so excited for them, I nearly behaved like I was going on my first date.

LOL. No, my first date was not so fancy. It was a nice friendly dinner and I was a nervous wreck before alcohol clouded my brain. -_-

Yea, as expected I didn't make much of an impression on the guy 'coz the guy never took me out again. :P

But that's a different story and nothing of that sort happened with my friend. Thank God! ^_^ I had warned him - DO NOT GET TOO FRIENDLY WITH THIS ONE. YOU HAVE ENOUGH BEST FRIENDS. YOU DON'T NEED ANOTHER ONE. JUST PLAY IT COOL. PLEASE.

And he did. They sent me pictures of the two together and I was beyond happy that day.

So you see, unlike his stupid selfless behaviour, a little selfishness did my friend good. ;)

So, lemme know what you guys think. Are you a shellfish? Or a cute Walrus? ;)

I love hearing from you guys.

I am having my sweet cravings. Hehehehehe... I'm off to fill my tummy.

Toodles world. Until next time, Adiós Amigos.

Is love really that complex?

Hello my donuts!! ♥ ♥

I hope everything has been bright and sunny at your end. Mine sure has. And I mean literally! Too hot and humid in this part of the world. -_-

Today I will be talking about a rather touchy topic, so all you people out there who don't have a broad mind or who don't 'think', I request you to close this web page and well, surf some other site.

Ha Ha! Funny thing about the human mind is that the more you poke it not to do something, the more it is intrigued to do it. But, that was no cheap tactic to get you to read my post, I genuinely meant that as a warning. ^_^

This is STRICTLY my view on how I look at things.

So, lets begin! :)

Today's topic as the name of this post suggests is "Is love really that complex?". In my point of view, NO. Love ain't complex. People are. Thus, people make love complex. Love is beautiful feeling (if you have felt it). And what makes it even more wonderful is when you love and you are loved back.

Cupid ain't stupid. You are.

Now, when I say love and be loved, I mean in the same timeline. -_-

Not the weird love stories where a girl loves a guy and the guy is like "Dafuq?". And nearly a year later, by God's unforeseen miracle, the guy responds back and the girl is like "Dafuq? It's been months since you rejected me and I'm over you!". I know this story sounds ridiculously funny but trust my soul, this is a true story! :|

If you have felt someone's love in the same time frame, bless your soul, you're lucky! :) The other unlucky ones, ummm.. Errrr... Keep your hopes up!

Now you love each other, everything is hunky dory, the world is shining for you but BOOM, something goes wrong. So who made things go wrong? Was it Love? Or was it the human involvement?

Oh I don't mean the unexpected things that come up during relationships. I mean the "I love you but I cannot be with you because we follow different religions!" or "You and I are of same sex. We cannot be together" or "The age difference between us is insane. We aren't meant to be" sort of problems that occur.

Boohoo... Things are not so La-Di-Da now, are they?

Now I will be talking about love and religion and age. So readers are still advised to turn back if they cannot handle it. I will not be talking about love involving same sex because I don't love anyone of the same sex and neither do I know anyone who does so. So, although I support love between same sex, I don't have a definitive opinion about it.

So love and religion. Ah! Religion - One of the prime agents that still contribute to the factor of two people being together in this country. I personally hate it. Maybe it's because I'm open minded and I think if two people want to be together, they should. To hell with the world. I admire the western countries for this. People out there can be with anyone they desire and no one points a finger at them and says 'What have you done? You have sinned. You will burn.. etc etc..'

I wonder why majority of the parents are still so rigid, even in this generation! Sometimes, I think 'Hey! Maybe our parents were also young and hot blooded like us. Maybe they too fell in love. Maybe their parents said NO and now our folks have vowed never to let anyone else including their kids stay happy'.

And then I get a scarier thought 'If this trend/cycle continues, will we let our kids also suffer?'. I hope not. o_O

Now, don't think of me as an atheist. I'm not. I do believe in the Almighty but I also respect other's belief. And as long as you respect that and are ready to accept them for who they are, for what they believe in, I don't think you'd make your love story complicated.

I know a few people who ended their love stories just because they thought they didn't have a future. Its so sad. It really is. And not because, they didn't have their happily ever after. It's sad because they claimed they loved each and didn't stand up for each other.

Where is the love then? -_-
I hope you guys have heard Adele's song - Skyfall. Beautiful voice. Beautiful song. And lovely lyrics.

♪ Let the sky fall,

When it crumbles,

We will stand tall,

and face it all, together,

at Skyfall. ♫

Trust me boys, if you claim to love your girl and don't stand up for her, you're an idiot! There is nothing more attractive than a guy standing up for his girl. Period. And the same applies to women. If you fell in love and didn't stand up for your man, shame on you!

I personally love this ad. For the folks who don't understand Hindi, the ad involves a couple (following different religions) having a new born baby and the dad who decides that his daughter should be able to choose whichever religion she wants to follow. I think this ad is just brilliant.

I wish more people were like that and not because of the fan showcased in the ad. ;)

So that was people in love who belong to different religions. Don't even get me started with people in love, from SAME religious background but end their relationship because of caste issues. Every time I hear such a story, I feel like giving myself a facepalm. -_- It's like we deliberately and subconsciously have vowed to make our love lives more complex.

"We cannot be together because I'm from the purest of pure castes and you, well, are from a not-so-pure caste!"

I think it is ridiculous and I mean no offence to anyone who is under going such a problem but really, think about it, isn't it us humans who make matters more complicated?

Lets add another bit of complexity in our love stories. AGE! Now personally, I think, an age difference of plus or minus three years is okay between a guy and girl. But somehow, it still bothers people and that again becomes a lingering factor of two people not being together. Of course, if the age difference between you and your partner is HUGE, then that IS weird and you should really ask yourself what the hell are you doing? o_O

Bottom line is: ALL these worldly factors introduced by us humans make our own lives so complicated, we just forget to cherish true feelings in life sometimes.

So I say it again - Love ain't complex. People are. People make things complicated.

Now that we established that things are complex because of us humans, how you deal with these factors will test your love for your partner.

Would you risk it all for your happily-ever-after with your loved one? Think about it. ^_^

As for me, I know I won't go down without fight. And then again, what is life without a little drama? ;)

Until next time... Hmm.. I won't sign off the usual way today. 

I recently came across a couple who have been together for 9 friggin' years. AMAZING right? What makes it even more amazing is that, they are of different nationality and different religions and different age group. Talk about diversity! Sheesh.. :D
Oooh.. Cherry on the cake is that they'll be married next year. Woohoo! :D

So until next time, folks, keep your hopes up, FIGHT and make your lives uncomplicated! Toodles. :D